The Limitless Adviser

Stephanie Bogan explores the fact that our success is defined more by what is happening inside of us than by external circumstances, and breaks through advisers' self-imposed limitations.

Silence those voices in your head

Yes, we all have the internal dialogue on instant replay — even advisers. And because most of it is negative, it hinders our health, wealth, happiness and success.

Nov 30, 2016 @ 11:21 am

By Stephanie Bogan

Do you hear voices? Even when you're alone, there is someone talking to you — a near constant internal dialogue we have with ourselves. The voices in your head don't make you crazy, they make you human. But these voices have the power to make us believe some crazy things.

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article noting the average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive. And yes, 80% of the 95% play-loop is negative. Do the math and you realize why so many of us are achieving only a fraction of our potential.

The reality, driven by new research, is that your belief system is what causes you to think, feel and act the way that you do. Simply put, your belief system drives your behavior, and the outcomes you experience.

The health, wealth, happiness and success we experience rest squarely on the quality of our internal dialogue. Do any of these “conversations” sound familiar?

• There's no way I can get all this done, there's just not enough time. I have to stay and work.

• If I raise my fees, I will lose clients.

• I can't charge fees for financial planning, people will never pay them.

• I can't turn away clients who are referred just because they're too small.

• He wants everything handed to him; he doesn't understand how hard I had to work to get here.

• If I don't do it, it won't get done right. Why can't anyone just do things right (the way I do)?

• My partner isn't contributing enough — I do all the valuable work around here.

• (Insert your negative talk here)

All of this begs the question, where does this chatter come from? Insert your eye roll here if you must, but science says we form these belief systems in childhood.

When I was 9 years old, my mother was diagnosed with a mental illness. The result was psychiatric hospitals, prescription bottles and panic attacks, plus physical and emotional abuse. After her diagnosis, I attended seven schools before graduating. I was teased mercilessly by relatives for being chubby. I was regularly awakened at 2 a.m. by a frantic mother. My mother even said to me: “You should be nicer to me; this is going to happen to you.”

In my first article, I shared that no matter how successful I was I couldn't enjoy my success, and I couldn't relax … ever. Turns out a series of limiting beliefs were the culprit:

• I'm fat (because the people I loved and trusted told me so)

• I don't belong (if I did, I wouldn't always feel like an outsider)

• I am broken (the person I loved most in this world told me so, so it must be true)

• I'm not good enough (see the list above)

• Therefore, I must be perfect if I want to be loved and accepted

In response to these unhappy messages, I did what many suffering from such feelings do: I strived to succeed. I thought money would give me meaning and success would make me significant. As taught by conventional wisdom, I believed that if I worked hard I would be successful; and if I were successful, I would be happy.

In some sense it worked. The more I worked, the more successful I became. But it did little for my happiness factor.

(More: From the C-Suite with Cambridge's Amy Webber: Empowering others to demand improvements)

Every advisory owner reading this has a firm with far more potential than they realize. Instead of pursuing this potential, the average adviser is focused on costs, competition and complexity, and is weighed down by workload and worry.

If you have ever imagined being, having or doing more with your business — or your life; if you think more is possible but feel constrained by an invisible force; if you suffer continuous stress, strife and tension at work; if you consistently face the same challenges, then you, like almost every human being, are in some way hindered by limiting beliefs.

(More: 7 signs your company's culture is broken)

The latest brain research confirms the voices in your head are real. It also shares that we can change and break down the invisible barriers and break through the perceived limits of our potential. When we master our mindset and silence the voices in our head, then we can build — and become — much more than we thought possible.

Next month I'll explore some challenges faced by a successful practice, and how the adviser mastered his mindset to make the changes that made things better.

Stephanie Bogan is preparing the launch of her second consulting firm, Educe Inc., a business strategy, consulting and coaching firm. She can be reached at stephanie.bogan@educeinc.com.

0
Comments

What do you think?

View comments

Recommended for you

Sponsored financial news

Upcoming Event

Mar 13

Conference

WOMEN to WATCH

InvestmentNews is honoring female financial advisers and industry executives who are distinguished leaders at their firms. These women have advanced the business of providing advice through their passion, creativity, inclusive approach and... Learn more

Featured video

Events

What's the first thing advisers should do when they get home from a conference?

After attending a financial services conference, advisers can be overwhelmed by options, choices and tools. What's the first thing they should do when they get back to their office?

Latest news & opinion

Is Fidelity competing with retirement plan advisers?

As the Boston-based mutual fund giant expands the products and services it brings to the retirement market, some financial advisers say the firm is encroaching on their turf.

Whistleblower said to collect $30 million in JPMorgan case

The bank did not properly disclose that it was steering asset-management customers into investments that would be profitable for JPMorgan Chase.

Social Security underpaid 82% of dually entitled widows and widowers

Agency failed to tell survivors that they could switch to a higher retirement benefit later.

If Finra eases firm oversight of outside business activities, broker-dealers could lose revenue

Brokerage firms would no longer be able to charge reps for supervising nonaffiliated RIAs.

Galvin charges Scottrade with DOL fiduciary rule violations

Action of Massachusetts' top regulator shows states can put teeth into a rule under review by the Trump administration.

X

Hi! Glad you're here and we hope you like all the great work we do here at InvestmentNews. But what we do is expensive and is funded in part by our sponsors. So won't you show our sponsors a little love by whitelisting investmentnews.com? It'll help us continue to serve you.

Yes, show me how to whitelist investmentnews.com

Ad blocker detected. Please whitelist us or give premium a try.

X

Subscribe and Save 60%

Premium Access
Print + Digital

Learn more
Subscribe to Print