Colbert rages at ‘financial adviser’

Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert opened his show on Jan. 22 by expressing anger that his fictional financial adviser, “Gorlock,” hadn’t told him about the stock market plunge that occurred that morning.

“Does anybody else know that by 10 a.m. this morning the Dow Jones Industrial Average had dropped 450 points?” Mr. Colbert asked at the start of that night’s edition of “The Colbert Report.”

Mr. Colbert was miffed that Gorlock, a green-faced alien sporting a black suit and a grey tie, didn’t contact him before the Dow industrials fell 464.48 points, or 3.83%, that morning, before rebounding to close down 128.11, or 1.06%, to 11,971.19.

“I did not get a peep out of this guy today,” Mr. Colbert said. “I can’t believe that he couldn’t see that big of a drop coming.”

A disappointed Mr. Colbert complained that the faux adviser “came so highly recommended” by actor Tom Cruise.

In mock rage, Mr. Colbert’s self-righteous TV persona held up the adviser’s card, which read “My name is Gorlock. I come from the future.”

“Oh really,” Mr. Colbert growled, “you come from the future and you don’t remember a 450-point drop this morning? That’s ridiculous!”