Time for a financial heart-to-heart?

As Valentine’s Day approaches, Cupid’s arrow may snag that special partner, but be sure it doesn’t snag some financial troubles in the process. “Court records show that financial stress is one of the main causes of divorce,” Gail Cunningham, a spokeswoman for the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, said in a statement. “Taking action now could prevent a disaster later.” The Silver Spring, Md., credit counseling group said arguments over money can be one of the biggest relationship-killers, and it is offering tips on ways to avoid a nasty breakup over money issues. “Money problems can start even before the ‘I do’s’ are pronounced,” Ms. Cunningham said. Indeed, the sky is often the limit during the courtship phase. Going into debt to pay for candy, flowers and meals at the finest restaurants may seem worth it at the time, she said. But as the relationship progresses, so does the price tag as costs associated with engagement rings, wedding ceremonies and honeymoons to exotic locales kick in. “Life is good until the bills start arriving,” Ms. Cunningham warned. It is critical that couples are honest with each other about their financial situation early in a relationship, the counseling foundation said. “The fact of the matter is that people bring financial baggage into a relationship and often don’t deal with it until problems arise,” she said. This baggage could take the form of a poor credit rating, mountains of accumulated debt or no experience managing money. “The time to address money differences is up front, before the financial bottom falls out,” said Ms. Cunningham. Other tips: •Be open to changing your lifestyle, whether that means cutting back on spending or taking a second job, and “resist whining” about it. •Don’t approach the money subject in the heat of battle, which means discussing the problem rationally without finger-pointing and laying blame. •Try to understand a partner’s long-held financial attitudes, many of which were learned in childhood through the way their parents addressed money issues. •Never hide income or debt – this is a sure relationship-killer, often known as financial infidelity. •Always discuss legal documents that you need to draw up or change, such as a will. •Construct a joint budget that includes savings, especially during tough economic times when every penny counts. •Make one person responsible for paying the monthly bills. •Acknowledge that one person may be a saver and one a spender, but both can benefit and learn from the other’s tendencies. •Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money that can be spent at his or her discretion. •Always talk about plans to loan money to family members or friends before making a decision. •Be sure to talk about caring for parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs.