Why the world needs the uber-wealthy

The most recent Merrill Lynch CapGemini World Wealth Report was an absolute delight. The 14th edition of the annual report card of the wealthy came out a week or so ago when the Dow was still in the five digits, and I was thrilled to learn that the world's oil sheiks and oligarchs have had a good year. I guess it comes from writing for financial advisers, but I'm obsessed with wealthy people. Their troubles are my troubles. Their joys are my joys. I desperately want to know at all times what they're thinking and feeling, and for that, the Merrill CapGemini report is required reading. In this year's installment, I learned, for example, that the super-wealthy are being cautious with their investments. I also learned that yacht sales are coming back, fine wines and coins are doing well and BMW sales in China are strong. Who wudda thunk? Since their relentless data collection amounts to virtual stalking, the report's authors obviously share my opinion that the super-wealthy are so endlessly fascinating that their every purchase and expenditure must be recorded and analyzed. Merrill and I are not alone in our uber-wealthy madness. My colleagues in the business press lavish an extraordinary amount of space, time and energy covering who's who and what's what among the world's richest people. Forbes, for example, is practically a cult devoted to 400 wealth gods. Architectural Digest worships their celestial abodes. And Rupert Murdoch, himself a Croesus, created the New York section of the Wall Street Journal to chronicle the cavorting of the deities at their favorite arenas — museum galas. This is altogether fitting and proper, considering how much the super-wealthy can teach us about the important matters of life. After all, who knows more about working one's way to the top than Ivanka Trump? Who can give better lessons in fair treatment of family and shareholders than Ronald Perelman? And who is a better role model when it comes to turning others' adversity and bankruptcy into personal riches than Sam Zell? The truth is, aside from their economic contribution — after all, would there even be a gold-plated plumbing fixture industry without them? — the super-elite serve a vital social function: they add color to the drabness of the lives of ordinary people and curb the cockiness of anyone given to crowing about their accomplishments or contributions to the world at large. These are all valuable lessons in a world where self-esteem comes too easily to the masses. To be sure, most readers will impute sarcasm and ridicule to my comments. That only confirms the base thinking of the hoi polloi. We need the super-wealthy for their economic, aspirational and tax-paying power. That they happen to be entertaining to write about is only an added benefit. My only regret is that my father wasn't one of them.