Why financial honesty is key to harmonious relationships

While having a big salary or owning a home might make for a promising romantic partner, a new survey from BMO suggests other financial qualities have a bigger impact for Americans looking for a love connection.

The findings, released ahead of Valentine’s Day, highlight the impact of financial transparency on relationships and the conflicts that can arise from money matters.

Among single Americans that were surveyed in the BMO Real Financial Progress Index report, 44 percent believe their net worth influences their dating prospects. However, nearly all respondents in relationships or seeking one identified financial responsibility (96 percent), openness in discussing money (94 percent), and having a financial plan (92 percent) as the most attractive financial traits.

A significant but smaller majority identified other factors, such as a successful career (86 percent) and a high credit score (83 percent), as financial green flags.

Opinions were split over when to have real money talks. The survey found that 39 percent of Americans believe couples should start talking about money once the relationship is official, while 10 percent think these conversations should happen within the first few dates.

The survey also revealed a possible gap between what people say about financial openness in singlehood and how it's actually practiced by couples. Just 55 percent of respondents in relationships said they share equal responsibility for meeting with their financial advisor, and an even smaller 11 percent minority admitted they rarely or never discuss household finances with their partner.

One in four Americans admitted to financial infidelity, occasionally withholding information that could make them look bad, and 10 percent admitted to sometimes or regularly lying about money. Still, financial honesty appears to be the best policy: Among those who described themselves as very financially honest, only 29 percent said they frequently argue about money, compared to 54 percent of those who admitted to being less truthful.

"Instead of feeling the need to spend heavily to impress a new partner or a long-term significant other, Americans should keep in mind that financial progress fundamentals like having a financial plan, being responsible with money, and having honest conversations can be as important to attraction and a happy, healthy relationship as expensive and grand romantic gestures," said Paul Dilda, head of consumer strategy for BMO.

Financial transparency also appears to impact relationship satisfaction. Couples who integrate their finances reported greater alignment in financial goals (85 percent vs. 73 percent), agreement on how to adjust their financial goals (88 percent vs. 79 percent), and comfort in discussing money (90 percent vs. 78 percent).

"The data suggests that eliminating the line between 'yours' and 'mine' can help couples live in financial harmony," Dilda said. "It may sound like a recipe to create bickering, but bringing more financial transparency into your relationship may actually help increase your odds for happily ever after."