Leveraging vulnerability: Questions that show you care

The markets have been pretty boring lately, haven’t they? Nothing newsworthy at all. Nothing that would concern your clients or give them pause…

Forgive my wishful thinking. The truth is, clients, prospects, and investors in general have been hit by a continual barrage of breaking news, and the recent stock market volatility is one reflection of the uncertainty that people are feeling. Clients might wonder if they can retire as planned; whether they’ll have sufficient funds; when their accounts might recover; and how inflation, taxes, and political changes might impact their portfolios. None of these concerns are new, of course, but they can feel very weighty and immediate if you’re the one affected, especially in very volatile times.

Advisors aren’t immune from this uncertainty either, and experience everything that comes with it. I’ve had several conversations lately with advisors who are struggling with finding the best course of action for their clients. “How can I advise my clients,” they ask, “when I’m not sure myself?”

Take heart, because there’s another way to view this. Asking questions and being vulnerable can actually stand you and your clients in good stead. In her book Dare to Lead, author Brené Brown wrote, “When we dare to lead, we don’t pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions.”
Given the reality of the times we’re living in, it’s okay to not have all the answers. No one does. In fact, your clients would probably prefer your honesty to glib platitudes and denial of reality. Most people recognize that there are things beyond any advisor’s control, and that helping them to make the best decisions with the information at hand is the true value-add. 

So where do you begin? There are many possibilities, but here are two simple questions that could help start a meaningful conversation and engage clients with intention and care.

How are you doing? 

This might be all you need to start the conversation. You can also ask clients what’s on their mind, or ask some variation of this question that feels comfortable to you. The key is to ask open-ended questions—and then see how they answer. Clients might reply about a health scare they experienced recently or the loss of a friend. They could mention a child who was laid off, or perhaps who landed a job. Most likely their answer will be in regard to their personal life, as that’s what is truly most important to them. If their immediate top-of-mind answer, though, is about their portfolio, investments, or financials, then take careful note. That’s a sign of worries weighing heavily. You’re probably going to need to address those concerns in a clear, comprehensive, and reassuring way.  

On the other hand, clients might have good news to share. They might tell you about a big birthday or anniversary they recently celebrated or an upcoming trip they’re excited about. Celebrate the power of these moments with your clients! Sharing in their joy is a powerful way to connect with them.

What’s keeping you up at night?

This open-ended question is meant to uncover other sorts of issues that might be worrying your clients. Are they worried about the environment, vaccines, the war in the Ukraine, or zoning changes in their neighborhood? You don’t need to have answers to any of these issues; just asking the question can be helpful. And serving as a sounding board is often enough to make clients think more rationally about issues. Remember that people who live alone or don’t have family members to talk to or lean on might benefit from other viewpoints on issues on their mind. Listening carefully is often all that clients need, but it’s a good reminder to discuss with your team the difference between someone venting and someone needing them to take action. You could also discuss appropriate responses and how they differ accordingly.

Speaking of your team, remember to include them when you’re asking caring questions too. Staff are often on the front lines with clients and could be bearing the brunt of increased call volumes and anxious questions. Use your weekly staff meetings to bring up any concerns the team has. You could bring in lunch and host an open discussion about what’s going on. Staff can feel the uncertainty as much as anyone; their clients are affected, their daily workday is affected, and their personal portfolios probably have been as well.  

By asking thoughtful questions and encouraging people to voice where they feel uncertain or vulnerable, you can show sincere interest and empathy. These conversations not only build trust and deepen the relationship—they can also reveal what truly matters to clients. In any market, but especially during times of volatility, showing genuine care and concern is more important than ever.  
 

Kristine McManus is chief advisor growth officer at Commonwealth Financial Network.