Grieving clients need a patient and empathetic advisor

Financial advisors often develop deep, personal relationships with clients. Some would even argue that’s a crucial aspect of the job.

So, when a client experiences the loss of a spouse, parent, or other close family member, it can be a profoundly difficult time.

Tricia Mulcare, principal at Homrich Berg, says advisors should have a checklist when it comes to supporting clients through the grieving process. As a priority, when a client shares news of a death of a loved one, Mulcare emphasizes the importance of providing a safe, empathetic space.

"The first thing I do is tell them, 'Tell me how you're feeling,' which has nothing to do with the finances," she acknowledges. Mulcare keeps tissues readily available, understanding that clients may need to express their emotions.

Mulcare also underscores the importance and need to have patience and being present when working with grieving clients. "Sometimes they don't even know [their goals], because they're in shock," she explains. Rather than pressing for immediate decisions, she reassures clients that she is there for them on their own time.

Mulcare also makes every effort to attend the funerals of her clients' loved ones whenever possible. Because she’s on the distribution list for one of her local funeral homes, she's often one of the first people in the office to know when someone has passed away.

She also reminds advisors clients always appreciate sympathy cards, but to do so with intention, noting that she waits 10 days to 2 weeks before doing so. This helps to ensure the message stands out amidst the flood of other notes of condolences.

“I will reach out and let whoever my contact is to let them know that my thoughts and prayers are with them and in the coming week and months ahead, I am here to help.”

Oftentimes that generates a phone call with the client, she highlights, to discuss next steps.

“I say, ‘Just relax, get through the funeral, get through all what you need to do right now’. I can't do anything until we get a death certificate, and that usually takes a few weeks.”

Mulcare’s approach goes beyond the standard protocols, extending to thoughtful, personalized gestures. Thanks to estate planning documents, she knows if a client has previously mentioned a special song or request for their memorial service.

This is when she makes it a point to gently remind the client’s family, ensuring the client's wishes are honored.

"We really do get that deep with clients," she reflects. "There's nothing financial related to thinking about a special song at a celebration of life, but we really do get that deep with clients."

Not only does the loss of a loved one affect the client, but it also often affects the advisor as well, Mulcare admits.

“It's very heart wrenching, and it's hard to lose a client, especially for our long-time clients that we really do have a good relationship with," she says. Her advice to fellow advisors is to "get ready to listen", recognizing that grieving clients may need someone outside their immediate family to confide in during this difficult time.

“A lot of times, my single folks don't have someone to talk to, and if you're that trusted advisor, you're going to be like family for them,” says Mulcare. “Perhaps they need to get something off their chest that they're not comfortable telling a relative because they know that they're grieving.”

Name: Tricia Mulcare
Position: Principal and CFP
Company: Homrich Berg
Founded: 1989
AUM: Over $17 billion