Sometimes it takes a financial advisor to bring a couple together

Love may keep couples together. Financial goals, on the other hand, may cause some friction.

According to a preview of an Ameriprise study on couples and retirement released Monday, most couples feel positive about their financial relationships. That said, the report also showed that a few cracks appear when it comes to both partners aligning on money matters. The full study, which is set for release this spring, showed nearly a third of couples surveyed only “somewhat agree” that they share the same financial goals.

The data showed that nearly a quarter (23%) of couples “agree to disagree” when it comes to solving financial disagreements, and almost 4 in 10 couples (39%) strongly or somewhat agree that they didn't communicate enough about their finances when they first got together.

When asked what respondents appreciate most about their partner’s role in their family finances, just under 7 in 10 couples (68%) say they balance each other out, according to the study, which comprised more than 1,500 couples between the ages of 45 and 70 who are either 10 years ahead of or following retirement.

Perhaps the good news (or at least the heartwarming news) from the Ameriprise report is that over 9 in 10 couples (95%) strongly or somewhat agree they trust each other when it comes to finances.

MAKING IT WORK

A successful financial relationship starts with communication, said Daniel Lash, certified financial planner at VLP Financial Advisors. Lash says having financial goals aligned and getting to financial agreement requires regular, open and honest conversations. 

“Since it's easier to avoid these conversations when a couple has a disagreement, it is not surprising that only a third ‘somewhat agree’ on sharing the same financial goals and almost a fourth agree to disagree,” he said. “Since couples usually have different backgrounds and experiences with finances, it is key to have conversations so that each can better understand the other's feelings about money and work together to compromise on what their financial goals and solutions should be.” 

Lash adds that in many cases, a financial advisor can help the couple through this process by encouraging dialogue and assisting them in reaching agreement on tricky subjects.

Nina Lloyd, president of Opus Financial Advisors, part of Osaic, says the way couples approach communication and decision-making about household finances can play a key role in their general quality of life and the level of happiness in their relationships. She also agrees with Lash that a trusted financial advisor can play an important part in getting couples on the same page.

“Disagreeing on important topics isn’t unusual or unexpected, and unique perspectives are healthy. If those differing opinions lead to arguments or feelings of financial insecurity in you or your partner, consider seeking outside counsel or professional advice from a financial advisor,” Lloyd said.

Finally, Robert Pearl, co-founder and wealth advisor at G&P Financial, often finds that financial communication, at least at first, is significantly more important to a couple’s satisfaction with their relationship and its long-term viability than their ability to agree financially.

“Setting long-term goals requires that each individual opens up to the other,” Pearl said. “That is a big risk, because it exposes them to being rejected by their partner. Many people have a fear of dying alone. Opening up about your true goals and desires is scary, because we are all flawed and others can reject us because of those flaws. Ironically, if you don’t open up to your partner, you run the risk of dying alone and unhappy anyways. So I think being vulnerable is worth the risk.”