Trust over returns: Why affluent families are fleeing big firms

High-net-worth families are increasingly turning to boutique advisory firms not for investment returns, but for coordination—estate planning, generational transfers, and guidance that reaches beyond the portfolio.

As wealth grows more complex, so do expectations around trust. Most affluent investors assume fiduciary alignment, but many miss the conflicts in bank and brokerage models. Cerulli finds 70% are satisfied when they believe their advisor must act in their best interest—versus just 41% when they suspect firm interests come first.

Melissa Bouchillon, Managing Partner at Sound View Wealth Advisors, works in the space between RIAs and family offices. She says planning-first relationships have reshaped client expectations—and revealed the limits of product-driven models. The challenge is offering more without losing clarity or trust.

“If you go back years ago—and I've been doing this over 20— client discussions were primarily focused on investments,” Bouchillon says.

“People would talk to their advisors specifically about, ‘What investment opportunities are there? How do I need to allocate my portfolio?’ Conversations were around investments not planning and longer-term strategy.”

That model, once sufficient for many affluent clients, has fractured under the growing complexity of wealth. Today, financial planning isn’t an add-on—it’s the foundation.

“Financial planning, by its nature, incorporates not just investment strategy discussions, but really everything from cash flow planning, retirement discussion, succession planning, risk management, taxes, estate planning, insurance and much more,” she explains.

Meeting the family office demand

The industry’s pivot, particularly over the past two decades, has exposed a glaring void. Many families want the holistic, white-glove service of a family office but don’t have the capital—or desire—for its scale and bureaucracy. This is the space where firms like Sound View thrive.

“Not everybody has the desire or need to have their own family office. And not every advisor is equipped to really help a client objectively look at all these different aspects of their financial life in a meaningful way that will drive positive outcomes,” she says.

Her firm’s solution is rooted in fiduciary planning from the first conversation. “Financial planning is kind of the basis for all we do. So, anybody we work with, we are engaging first with a financial plan,” Bouchillon says.

That planning-first mindset creates a framework for deeper integration—not just with the client, but with their attorneys, accountants, and even extended family members.

“We spend a lot of time in meetings with our families, gaining an understanding for their goals, feelings about risk, family dynamics and current investments. So, we can help strategize with attorneys to put together a plan that is customized to their needs today and in the future,” she adds.

“You're sharing a lot of information, building an understanding, and working closely with the attorneys, accountants and other professionals to draft a sound plan. You really get to know the next generation through this process as well.”

Team dynamics and capacity limits

But with that evolution comes tension. What starts as boutique service can grow to resemble a multi-family office—with all the operational strain that entails.

“One person can't do it all,” Bouchillon notes. “It's really important that there's a team of people with good role definition.”

For firms looking to replicate this model, managing capacity isn’t optional—it’s critical. “What you really need is somebody else that they can really trust from a planning perspective, someone else from an investment strategy perspective,” she says.

“Getting everybody really comfortable allows some of these smaller boutique firms to address all the needs of clients.”

Beyond internal structure, advisors must also navigate generational differences—tailoring their approach not only to individual clients but to family systems with diverging needs and expectations.

“Generations have different needs and different styles that they like to be communicated with and through,” she says. “My 90-year-old client may not be comfortable with a Zoom call. Whereas, if I'm working with the 30-year-old grandson, they don't have the time—they want to just do a quick Zoom meeting.”

To deliver family-office-style service without family-office infrastructure, firms must invest in both technological flexibility and interpersonal nuance.

“Building out a technology framework that's flexible and identifies everybody's preferred forms of communication is very important,” Bouchillon says.

Equally critical is not assuming shared values across a household.

“Don’t assume that the values of the grandfather are the same as the grandmother or the values of the parents are the same as the children,” she says. “Even if you feel you really know the family, always take the time to get to know the person.”

Navigating complexity without losing focus

As firms expand their offerings, they must also manage the regulatory and compliance risk that comes with it.

“The investment strategies can get more complex. The planning can be more involved. So just make sure that you're building out the space, talent and time to handle these added complexities within your firm,” she says.

Bouchillon is acutely aware of the risks of straying too far into family-office territory without the proper infrastructure. “I've always told people [that] you can't be all things to all people. And so whatever space you're operating in, just try to be the best in that space,” she says.

That includes knowing when to bring in outside expertise. “If you tell [a client], ‘Hey, listen, I'm really good at this, but I got to lean on somebody else here,’ that is absolutely okay,” she adds.

That willingness to build a team—internally and externally—is what defines the new era of boutique advising. It’s no longer about being the lone trusted advisor. It’s about constructing a trusted ecosystem that can flex with the needs of each client across life stages and generations.

“There is no shortage of advisors in this world, but they are not all created equally in their approach to helping their clients and competency. The key is to find a planning-based fiduciary firm that you trust is trying to help your family and not sell you something.”