Why keeping inheritance expectations realistic can help avoid conflict later

Family conflicts often arise when money mixes with grief.
MAR 15, 2017

Everyone should be grateful to receive an inheritance, and no parent wants to leave their offspring with nothing. But just 21% of those who plan to bequeath money to their children tell them how much money they'll get. When kids do find out the size of their inheritance after a loved one passes away, it's often less then expected. It can add an unwanted feeling — disappointment — into an already-volatile emotional stew. More than half of 2,700 adults surveyed for Ameriprise Financial late last year expect to get an inheritance of more than $100,000. Among those who had already received an inheritance, about the same percentage (52%) got less than $100,000. The survey focused on Americans between the ages of 25 and 70 with at least $25,000 in assets. Some 83% plan to leave money to loved ones. If those heirs have unrealistic expectations, it can lead to family tension later, said Marcy Keckler, vice president for financial advice strategy at Ameriprise. Half of the boomers surveyed plan to leave at least $500,000 to their kids. Forty-seven percent of Gen Xers and 33% of millennials wanted to leave that much as well. While the survey found that the majority of those who had already inherited got less than $100,000, perhaps the portfolios of those benefactors hadn't lived through an eight-year bull market. https://www.investmentnews.com/wp-content/uploads/assets/graphics src="/wp-content/uploads2017/03/CI109405315.JPG" Family conflicts often arise when money mixes with grief. Almost a quarter of those surveyed expect family members will have disagreements after they learn the terms of the will. That proved true for 25% of those in the survey who were left money. For parents, sometimes the issue is whether to leave amounts to children that are fair, or that are equal. That can become an issue if one child is wildly successful, while another struggles financially. There's no way to eliminate these conflicts, but you can minimize them, said Eric Reich, a certified financial planner with Reich Asset Management in Marmora, N.J. His clients create what's called an "ethical will," which is a letter, document, or video that explains to kids why their parents divided assets the way they did. Addressing potential conflicts while everyone is still alive is an even better strategy. Mr. Reich asks parents to get feedback from their children on what each one really wants from the estate. Usually "it's not money, but items of sentimental and/or intrinsic value," he said. "Most often the things that a particular child values most, the parents had no idea they even wanted to inherit." Jewelry usually causes the most problems, Mr. Reich said, especially pieces that have been passed down generations. And siblings can hold grudges for a long time. "I've actually seen two very close siblings who have not spoken for the past 15 years over a piece of furniture, an antique breakfront cabinet valued at $10,000 in an estate valued at $3 million," he said. It may be less anxiety-inducing if parents give children an estimation of what they hope to leave them. "I recommend parents give children some frame of reference," said Ms. Keckler. By setting proper expectations, the inheritance will be "less of a source of tension later," she said. Beloved animals may also receive money if an owner dies. Some 5% of the people surveyed said they wanted to leave money behind for care of a pet. Whatever the intent, few will match what is perhaps the largest inheritance left to a pet ever: $12 million, from New York hotel heiress Leona Helmsley to her maltese, Trouble. She left her two grandsons out of the will.

Latest News

Mercer Advisors, Osaic deepen AI bets with Arch and Nitrogen deals
Mercer Advisors, Osaic deepen AI bets with Arch and Nitrogen deals

Arch claims 40% operating cost savings for Mercer as Nitrogen unlocks its agentic AI and tech suite to 10,000 Osaic advisors

LPL advisor, South Carolina state senator, elected to U.S. Congress
LPL advisor, South Carolina state senator, elected to U.S. Congress

A happy coincidence: one of LPL Financial’s corporate campuses happens to be based in Rep.-elect Wes Climer’s new district.

Advisor moves: JPMorgan lands $940M Merrill veteran in Los Angeles
Advisor moves: JPMorgan lands $940M Merrill veteran in Los Angeles

Wells Fargo and UBS also add advisors from Morgan Stanley, Edward Jones, Merrill and Fidelity in a fresh round of wirehouse recruiting

Wall Street products, Main Street regulators
Wall Street products, Main Street regulators

How we got here – and what to do about it

Most Americans are OK with AI managing their money - but not how you think
Most Americans are OK with AI managing their money - but not how you think

AI trust gap: Americans want protection, not autonomy, in their finances

SPONSORED Built on insurance experience to deliver on long-term promises

Knighthead Life entered the market with a competitive MYGA. A strong launch earned advisor confidence and paved the way for FIAs.

SPONSORED In the Age of AI, Trust Becomes the Advisor's Greatest Asset

As AI makes financial information more accessible than ever, Lana Hock explains why human judgment, trust, and empathy remain the qualities clients value most in a financial advisor