It was a sparkling Thursday afternoon in the Palermo Soho district of Buenos Aires. Like its New York namesake, this Soho has quaint storefronts and tree-lined streets with well-dressed shoppers bustling around or sipping an afternoon coffee at one of the many street cafes. I had just completed a successful presentation at the Entrepreneurs Organization global summit and was feeling accomplished and relieved. After a late lunch, Jen (my wife of 20 years) and I were wandering the streets enjoying our mini-escape away from the bustle of our regular lives — I run a national wealth counseling firm and she looks after our three overly committed daughters. Jen had just expressed how grateful she was to be walking with me in this beautiful Argentinian city.
But as the words came out of her mouth something in me felt strange — I noticed the fact that there was no one about, not even a car on the road. The silence reminded me of the eerie quiet you hear in Africa when an animal is being hunted. I turned, almost knowing that something bad was behind us.
The shock of a brick slamming against your temple, or the pain of seeing your wife thrown to the ground are not experiences any person can ever really prepare for.Joe Duran, CEO of United Capital.
The sight of two thugs at full sprint with fury in their eyes is not something you expect. The shock of a brick slamming against your temple, or the pain of seeing your wife thrown to the ground are not experiences any person can ever really prepare for. And yet, there we were. Over the next few minutes, sheer chaos reigned. I got off the ground and held on to my assailant by the collar. Fortunately, one of my out-of-control punches connected. I turned and started desperately flailing at the would-be thief who was ripping at my screaming wife's arm to no avail. Then I felt blows to the head and a sharp bite on my shoulder. Another lucky turn happened when my watch connected with this third assailant's nose. My wife and I begged for help from any of the dozens of bystanders who had now gathered in trepidation 20 feet away. Petrified stares and sympathy were the only responses from the crowd. I turned and kicked at the head of the thug tearing at my wife's arm and this time he responded. The three took off, joining the fourth thief who was waiting on one of the two motorbikes just a few feet away. If it sounds glamorous or like a movie, believe me, no part of it felt that way. It was madness all around, and not something I'd wish upon anyone.
The Twitter play-by-play of Joe Duran's incident
After the police report (nothing taken, but they did leave behind a pair of sunglasses, a hat and a shirt collar!) and a visit to the clinic to make sure the absurd swelling on my temple and cheek (I looked like a chipmunk) was not life-threatening, we had to deal with the emotional consequences.
Jen barely slept that night and neither could I, a combination of adrenaline and discomfort. I spent the restless night contemplating what lesson I could share from the experience during my second speech the next day.
As I gave that speech to the entrepreneurs and their spouses, who had gathered from around the world, several had already heard about the attack. For those who hadn't, the bandage and swelling on my head certainly foretold that I had an interesting story to start the meeting.
And so here are three things that this attack reinforced in me that I think apply to life beyond a mugging:
1. You never know how you'll react when chaos comes, or how it might end
We all watch action movies and assume that we would act a certain way if we were attacked. Truth is, when it actually happens, it's just wildness. My first conscious thought only came halfway through the fight when I could stop and see what was happening. Then I felt fear and concern for my darling wife and yelled for help, but when none comes, you have few choices. Several people at the event were impressed with what happened, but I realize it was just chance that we got through alright. In life there will be surprises — understanding choices and hopefully making the right ones can be the difference between being OK or not. Regardless of your planning and preparation, life can be fickle. Often doing anything is better than being paralyzed in a moment of chaos. There's also no telling how the event might end. I was fortunate to walk away with minor physical injuries. But would my family, my employees and the company know what do to if things didn't work out so well? We probably are all underprepared for a freak twist in our plans. Having a clearly articulated contingency plan is important for everyone we care about.
2. Experience makes all the difference in the world
I grew up in Zimbabwe and played rugby through college in the U.S. Jarring smacks are part of the sport. I'd also been attacked in the streets of London decades ago and remember what happened when I stayed down on the ground and covered my head. I still have scars on my skull from that. That is probably why I didn't just stay down on the floor. This time there were two of us. I couldn't bear the thought of them hurting my wife. Going through something the first time is a revelation, but by the second time you kind of know what to expect. Isn't that true in all aspects of life? We often underestimate the role of experience, and yet it gives those who have it something valuable to use if they learned from it. The attack was a reminder that experience, not just mine, but those of the people I work with can help save the day.
3. Be appreciative of your good luck
Had I not grown up in Africa, I might not have sensed that impending danger and would not have turned, thereby ensuring a brick to the back of the head. Had it not been sunny I wouldn't have been wearing my thick sunglasses, which softened the brick's impact. Had I not been attacked before, I would not have been able to respond. But most importantly, I felt blessed to have so much to fight for. The loveliest thing about dreadful events is that they deepen your appreciation for the fragility of life, the importance of relishing every moment and loving every person that enriches it for each of us.
There were tears after the speech, my wife is still fitful when she sleeps and I am still having the occasional scare during the night days later. But the swelling is down, I am home with my lovely family and have the good fortune of working with people I love — doing something I really care about and am proud of. Unfortunately, that is not true for those four men in Buenos Aires.
Joe Duran is chief executive of United Capital Financial Advisers. Follow him @DuranMoney.
