Advisors offer financial solutions for parents facing 'boomerang' child situations

Honey! Our adult kids are moving back in with us. Better call the financial advisor!

According to Thrivent’s fifth annual Boomerang Kids Survey, so-called boomerang living has firmly shifted from a temporary solution to a long-term financial strategy for many families. The fact that nearly half of parents surveyed say they’ve had an adult child move back home is a signal that economic pressures are reshaping the idea of how parents financially support their adult children. Many of these young adults (55%) report moving back home out of financial necessity, while another 27% say it was not necessary but provided financial benefits.

For young adults, moving back in with their parents is a meaningful opportunity to work towards a financial goal, whether that’s paying down debt, building savings, finding a job or saving for a house down payment.

Nevertheless, it also introduces real tradeoffs for their parents. According to Gene Elder, financial consultant at Thrivent, parents are often adjusting their own spending or even retirement plans to provide that support. As a result, he says the effects on both parties can add up substantially if they stay a year or more.

“The key is approaching these transitions with clear expectations and open communication, so both generations can stay aligned and continue making progress toward their long-term financial goals,” Elder said.

Philip Weiss, principal at Apprise Wealth Management, tells clients and colleagues not to neglect themselves and their own plans should they find themselves in a boomerang situation. He points out that borrowing to meet one's financial needs is much harder for those in retirement.

“I have one client with a child with special needs. That impacts their plan. It's even harder than the boomerang situation. They have a long-term obligation to that child but not to their other child. They have included a legacy goal for their special needs child in their financial plan,” Weiss said.

Weiss acknowledges that for a boomerang child, like the one living in his own house while working for him, the situation will ultimately reach the point where he or she will need to be on their own. And they need to be ready at that juncture.

"Since he works for me, he has gained a lot of financial knowledge. That will put him in a better position than he would be without that knowledge. He is funding some of his retirement savings. We do not charge him any rent to live at home and if and when we do, I will put the money aside and give it to him when he can finally move out as a form of savings he can use to help build his life,” Weiss said. 

Furthermore, when Weiss discusses this with his family, his conversations center on treating all his kids fairly.

“We don't want animosity among them because one has gotten more than the others,” Weiss said. 

Elsewhere, Dr. Preston D. Cherry, founder & wealth advisor at Concurrent Wealth, encourages families to think about adult children and boomerang situations as “structured transition plans” rather than permanent living arrangements. That starts with parents getting emotionally and financially aligned with each other before setting expectations with their adult child. Boundaries are important because auditing financial commitments to adult children is not considered abandonment.

“The most successful boomerang-family situations tend to have timelines, shared expectations, and accountability around employment, expenses, and long-term independence,” Dr. Cherry said.

He also reminds clients that “intra-life transfers” can sometimes have more impact than after-life inheritances, which makes intentionality critical. The goal in his view is to avoid financial enabling while still supporting emotional connection, resilience, and long-term capability.

One of the biggest conversations he has with clients is helping them recognize that boomerang children and adult children are not only emotional energy. They are also recurring line-item expenses. Housing, food, transportation, insurance, and discretionary support can quietly compete with retirement contributions, debt reduction, and long-term financial flexibility.

“Many Gen X parents are in their peak earning years, yet they are simultaneously supporting aging parents while helping adult children who have moved back home. I often ask clients one question: ‘Are you content with the emotional and financial investments you’ve made into your adult children through this point?’ That question helps move the discussion from guilt and emotion toward intentional planning, boundaries, and financial alignment,” Dr. Cherry said.

The first step is auditing the real numbers, according to Dr. Cherry. Many parents underestimate how much support is flowing to adult children and boomerang children annually because it happens gradually over time. When adult children move back home, temporary support can quietly become an open-ended financial arrangement if expectations are never revisited.

“I encourage families to determine what amount they can realistically afford without compromising retirement savings, catch-up contributions, or long-term security. Support should evolve from ongoing financial dependence toward financial capability and accountability. Young adults still have something many Gen X parents no longer have in abundance, and that’s time,” Dr. Cherry said.