As women's economic power continues to rise, the definition of what it means to be a couple is shifting.
According to Farnoosh Torabi's new book, "When She Makes More" (Hudson Street Press, 2014), the percentage of married couples with higher-earning wives is four times greater than it was in 1960. These women tend to be college-educated and upwardly mobile. Their husbands either stay at home with the children or take lesser paying jobs so they can support their wives' high-powered careers.
As a financial adviser, these modern couples require you to be more flexible and open-minded than ever before. The good news is if you can adjust your style to cater to these powerful women and their partners, your business is likely to skyrocket in the coming years.
Successful women who bring home the bacon are intelligent, driven and impatient with financial advisers who pigeonhole them into traditional gender stereotypes. To advise these women and their partners effectively, you need to let go of any preconceived notions about how couples should manage money and get curious about how the couple in front of you does.
Here are five tips to help you do just that:
1. Be curious about how the couple makes, manages and invests their wealth.
Whether the couple is new to you or you have been working with them for years, it is important to find out exactly how they earn, save and spend money. When boomer men are the primary breadwinners, research shows that they typically call the shots when it comes to money matters. When boomer women are in that role, they tend to take a more collaborative approach to the family finances. So make sure you don't assume if she wears the breadwinning pants she is the primary decision maker. Instead, take the time to ask the partners how they prefer to manage their money. Their answers may surprise you.
2. Ask open-ended questions to gain more insight into their couple dynamic.
The days of Rob and Laura Petrie from the popular 1960s television program “The Dick Van Dyke Show” are long gone. Traditional couples only represent 20% of U.S. unions, making non-traditional couples the majority. These modern couples make up the rules as they go along. Some even switch roles over the course of their relationship.
The best way to find out how the clients in front of you operate is to ask open-ended questions such as:
• As a couple, how do you earn income and pay for expenses?
• How is this similar or different than how your parents managed money as a couple?
• Historically, have you always operated this way as a couple? If not, what was different and why?
• When faced with a large financial decision, what role does each of you play in the process?
• If you could change one thing about how you make, manage and invest money as a couple, what would it be?
By asking open-ended questions and really listening to the answers, you are getting to know your clients and learning more about their specific couple dynamics around money — something most breadwinning wives really will appreciate.
3. Collaborate and build trust with both partners.
It is easy to fall into the trap of catering to one member of the couple — usually the wealth creator — over the other. Just as you need to make sure you don't neglect the female client in a more traditional partnership, you need to make sure you don't overlook the husband's role when she makes more.
For some men, having a wife who earns more is a source of pride, while for others it can be challenging. Let's face it: Our society still has not fully accepted men as caregivers and women as providers. So make a special point to stroke his ego, and include him in the meetings and decision-making process. This communicates that his opinion matters and that the relationship you have with him is just as important as the relationship you have with his wife.
4. Overcome your own biases about women who earn more or men who make less.
Accomplished women often complain that advisers jump to conclusions about their financial literacy and interest in investing. Avoid that mistake by examining your own beliefs about female breadwinners and stay-at-home dads.
It is okay to have thoughts about how a couple should make and manage money, but save your opinions for your personal relationships. Instead, identify your blind spots and challenge yourself to expand your understanding of gender roles as it relates to money and wealth.
This will allow you to more easily put yourself in your clients' shoes, honor their decision about how they operate financially and allow you to be fully present to advise them on their unique life journey.
5. Never stop learning about women's gender lens.
Our society and its understanding of gender roles continues to shift every day. As an adviser working with successful women and their partners, you must continue to learn and grow.
There is no one right answer to how to meet the needs of these increasingly powerful female wealth creators. But there is one way to make sure you stay at the top of your field and provide top-notch service to this growing demographic: Make a commitment to being a life-long learner when it comes to advising all types of female clients. The best part is each of your women clients will be more than happy to teach you how. All you have to do is ask.
Kathleen Burns Kingsbury is a wealth psychology expert, founder of KBK Wealth Connection, and the author of several books including "How to Give Financial Advice to Women" and "How to Give Financial Advice to Couples."
