SHORT INTERESTS: TIPS, TRENDS AND OBSERVATIONS

RAG TIME: THE BEARISH BULL

OK, it’s not the Wall Street Journal. But the Weekly World News reports that the world economy will collapse in April, leaving banks in ruin, currency worthless and hundreds of millions of homeless and starving people in the street.

The tabloid that regularly features photographs of a space alien greeting world leaders cites a report from a “concerned group of the world’s top economists,” who claim governments have been trying to cover up the paper’s shocking findings. The causes of the new depression are too complex for most laymen, writes an economist identified as Thomas VanDurman. But watch out: The financial crisis will hit Switzerland first, then spread to France, Italy, Austria and Germany, he writes. Some frightened Americans already have headed for the hills to “well-stocked mountain cabins.”

Designation hitter

Talk about alphabet soup. Howard L. Eisenberg of Silver Spring, Md., the lucky devil who was named the second annual “outstanding Master’s graduate of the year” by the College for Financial Planning in Denver, lists seven – count ’em, seven -designations after his name. Too many to run in this skimpy column but they range from CEBS (that’s for Certified Employee Benefit Specialist) to PFS, the personal financial specialist designation awarded to CPA planners.

Don’t even ask about Mr. Eisenberg’s grade point average. (OK: 3.9.) Uniquely prepared for the jungle of personal finance, the 36-year-old even holds a B.S. in Zoology.

St. Louis blues

To whom does the hometown baseball team in St. Louis turn for its employee retirement plan? Why, a firm based in Des Moines, Iowa, of course. The St. Louis Cardinals 401(k), covering 200 employees, signed on with the Principal Financial Group for recordkeeping, administration and investments, including international stock and mid- and small-cap mutual funds.

Principal’s franchise extends beyond the major leagues. It also runs a defined-benefit plan covering coaches and trai
ners for all the teams in the National Basketball Association and provides 401(k) services to employees of the Los Angeles Kings, Phoenix Suns, Minnesota Vikings and Arizona Diamondbacks. Adding insult to injury for Missouri-based giants like Kansas City’s American Century Investment Management Inc., Principal also is a 401(k) provider to the St. Louis Blues hockey team.

Climbing the Wall

State Street Mansion House Investment Management Services Group Ltd., an affiliate of Boston-based State Street Bank and Trust Co., and Guangdong Overseas Chinese Trust & Investment Corp. will team up to distribute mutual funds in China. Mansion House Group Ltd. of Hong Kong will work with Guangdong Overseas, a government-owned firm, to get the regulatory OK to distribute mutual funds in one of China’s most prosperous provinces. The firm hopes to raise $1 billion by 2001.

Anna Robaton, Sandy Hock and Marlene Givant Star