Grace, rather than censure, advances inclusion

Grace and goodwill are the way to build bridges that include all.

If there’s one takeaway from the soon-to-conclude tenure of Kamila Elliott, first Black chair of the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc., it’s that good intentions can expand the common ground that’s essential for genuine inclusion.

In addition to running her own firm, Collective Wealth Partners, Elliott has been on one stage after another all year, including InvestmentNews events that showcase the accomplishments of under-represented identities in the industry. And time after time, she emphasizes that intentions count, especially in an industry with a monocultural legacy.

It’s harder than you’d think to advocate for a middle ground where mutual respect can reign. The national discussion about diversity is often dominated by the loudest voices on both ends of the spectrum.

Those who insist that they don’t recognize gender, race or identity don’t or won’t admit that in so saying they callously define others for them. Try mislabeling their affinity for a certain sports team to see how quickly they leap to correct your misunderstanding of their self-ascribed identity.

On the opposing side, some advocates insist that intentions don’t count. They make a good point about the tone-deaf, locker-room style of communication that uses insults to build camaraderie. “Sorry if you were offended” is not a way to build relationships.

But it’s equally counterproductive to tell others that their intentions are irrelevant. Good intentions are everything when someone is trying to ask a hard question but isn’t sure if they have the right words. If the others in the conversation can’t ascribe good intentions to their fumbling colleague, they will turn away. The words, if they’re even spoken, will never be heard. The chance to connect will evaporate. The relationship will stall. The common ground will not be built.

“Give people grace in learning and working, and figuring all of this out,” Elliott said in a conversation we had after a 2022 InvestmentNews Women Adviser Summit, where she made the same point on a panel. “As long as someone is coming to you with good intentions, they’re coming to you to learn and grow and understand. That’s how we make progress and expand inclusivity.”

To be sure, it gets tiring for people to have to keep explaining elements of their identities and experiences that they think should be obvious to others. I’ve been explaining the business case for advancing women for nearly my entire 41-year-career as a journalist. (Fortunately, the case keeps getting better as ever-expanding evidence quantifies the advantages of diverse workplace and investment leadership.)

But you can’t scold people who genuinely want to understand when they come to you. Why deflect to the unreliable wisdom they might find by searching online, when they come to you in search of facts plus a personal connection?

And why not use that chance to learn from that person, too?

That’s the genius of Elliott’s mantra of grace. “No one is an expert on every culture. No one is an expert on every religion. No one is an expert on gender identities, and on all the identities people have,” she said. “As long as you give people grace to learn and grow, that’s how you move the needle for diversity, equity and inclusion.”

Let the self-appointed provocateurs camp out at opposite ends of the discussion, convincing themselves and few others of their righteousness.

The rest of us can build a whole infrastructure on the common ground, with room for all, on a foundation of grace and goodwill.